A-Rod Checks Yankees.com To See If He's Starting Opening Day
With the season fast approaching, Alex Rodriguez has been frequently checking Yankees.com to see if he'll still be in the line-up since manager Joe Girardi didn't officially name him an "Opening Day starter."
"My name is still at the top of the depth chart at third base with my head shot right next to it, but Joe (Girardi) hasn't told me a thing," said a peeved A-Rod. "You'd think he'd have the common courtesy to buy a best softball bat around 100 and a presser or release a statement for the position guys like he did for C.C. (Sabathia)."
A-Rod says he had asked Derek Jeter and Mark Teixeira if they were worried about not starting on Opening Day, but said they just laughed, shook their heads and walked away.
"Maybe they know something I don't," pondered Rodriguez, growing increasingly nervous. "Are there best fastpitch softball bats for high school which updated depth chart somewhere that I haven't seen yet? I'd better check Yankeesbeisbol.com too."
To round out their starting rotation, the New York Yankees, with a Major League high payroll of $206 million, say they are unable to find someone that would be any better than Sergio Mitre, a pitcher who has been a full-time starter only once during his 7-year career.
"Our farm system had nothing to offer, and we were only able to review best bbcor bats for contact hitters and sign Freddy Carcia and Bartolo Colon, unwanted by other clubs, to minor league contracts," said Yankees GM Brian Cashman of New York's offseason moves, claiming there was little money left for a starter after having committed a total of $55 million to his third baseman and shortstop, $13 million to a designated hitter and another $22 million to a couple relievers that will pitch the 8th and 9th innings every other day or so. "$206 million doesn't stretch as far as it used to."
Cashman says he's somewhat concerned that the Yankees were 7-20 in games in which Mitre appeared last year, but challenges anyone under the same financial limitations he's had to put up with to find a 5th starter with a career record better than 13-29.